Folding towels with my special needs son...

Have you ever grown a garden?

A real garden?

Like, tomato plants that must first be pruned, then planted well.  Nice and deep into good soil.  Watered and nurtured.  Cared for and protected. 

Not too much sun, or they will scorch.  Yet, they need sun to grow.

You must be careful not to put them beside certain fruits and veggies.  They will give off too much acid or too much of some other chemical and zap the life from that tomato.

You must protect them from the dangers of critters that also like tasty garden munchies.

Do not water excessively and then leave to dry out, for this will cause the tomatoes to split.  No, you must water diligently.  Making sure you give enough, but also making sure to not give too much. 

Water is also best at the root of the tomato plant, rather than on the fruit itself.  You see, the bees, those pesky bumble bees, have a job to do.  They must taste and spread the pollen that so drive our allergies crazy in the spring.  The pollen is sent through the air and scattered on the plants and this pollen helps to produce the luscious fruit we call tomato.

That's another thing...A tomato is actually a fruit, yet most people consider them vegetables.  They are given an identity, yet we try to change this and make them fit the category we choose for them to be in.   

You must twine or tape tomatoes to a stronger source to keep them upright so that they won't wilt.  Because if they are allowed to wilt and not tied to a cage or plank or other strong structure, they will fall over and the fruit you fought so hard to produce will then fall and rot.  And all the hard work will have been for no gain.

And then you must pick the fruit at just the right moment.  You can't wait until they are too red, you can't pick them while they are yet too green.  They must be just right.

And when you pop that first bite of summer tomato in your mouth; all the hoeing, all the watering, all the toil and the suffering come to "fruition".  A party of flavor bursts forth in your mouth!  What a wonderful journey.  What a wonderful blessing.

Today, I was folding towels with my 16 year old son.  He is diagnosed with Mild Mental Retardation.  Although I do not like that word, that is his formal diagnosis.  He is 16, yet his mind is more like that of a 2nd grader.  He is high functioning and will be able to be mostly independent with a watchful eye.

So, dear son and I were folding towels.  And being the Type A personality that I am, I like my towels folded in a certain way.  I like all folds to be laying the same direction and I hate seeing the tag.  Being the sweet MR child that my teen is in his mind, he was happy as a lark in that he was simply helping fold the towels.

I began correcting him.  "Now son, Mommy likes the wash cloths folded in this direction.  Make sure you tuck in the tag.  Then, lay them all facing the same way so they look pretty in the cabinets."

We made it through the folding of the wash cloths.

The towels were another matter.

After about 5 full minutes of being patient, I kinda took over the folding and began directing him to do other things. 

Once the towels and wash cloths and hand towels were ready to be put away, there he was, ready and eager to help mom again.

So, I sent him on a journey to the kitchen to put the dish towels away.  I don't have to look at them as I rarely do dishes any more.

Here, he comes again.  "I did it", spoken in mono-tone.  His cue to me, that he is ready for his next assignment.

I pass him several hand towels and four wash cloths to be placed under the sink husband and I share.  I grabbed the armload of towels and followed him in.

He haphazardly places them under the sink and turned to me awaiting my response.

"Let's pull that one back out because those colors do not match.  We'll place it with the brown cloths." 

He pulled it out, destroying the pretty little tower of cloths that are usually lined up as if on a store's white display the night before the big sale.

"No, son.  Now you have to fix those back.  Match the colors.  No, put the whites on the bottom because there are fewer of those and brown on top because we use those more."  I try to remain calm as he is single-handedly destroying my towel cabinet with eager desire to do a good job.

Now he's put the green towel under the beige towel, and that will never do!

"OK, son.  Thank you for your help.  Mommy will get the rest."  I brushed him aside and began to re-do everything his man-child hands with the mind of a 7 yr old had tried to do. 

Quickly, I made pretty the towels under the bathroom vanity cabinet, that no one would see but husband and myself. 

Quickly, I had destroyed a moment in time, that I can never recover, that could have been used to show fruits of the spirit....love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control.  All but faithfulness.  I had the chance to grow in all areas but one. 

My fruit had fallen on the ground and was rotten.

As the Holy Spirit chastened my heart, I rotated the next load of laundry and went to my Bible to look up scripture. 

There are so many wonderful scriptures on patience, kindness, kids, blessings, family.  So many.

But mostly, my heart just kept thinking about the tomatoes we are about to plant.  And how my son was like those little, fragile tomato plants.  My son.  My little tomato that I've purposed to nurture, promised to protect and proudly encouraged all these years.  I had let him down.

It was only a moment in time.  And he is only one tomato blossom.  But the Lord saw it.  I crushed his spirit because I wanted my cabinet to be neat.  I was more concerned with the way my fruit looked than the way my fruit tastes and that my fruit will produce more fruit.  I was like the den of vipers that pray flowery words in public and the Lord chastised me too.

I humbly share this rotten story and make myself vulnerable be an encourager to you if you've ever made a similar mistake.  It's never too late to grow your garden.  And sometimes, you can cut away the rotten part of the fruit, and what's left is just as sweet.  And even further, you can prune that little sucker (the shoot that begins to grow between the "Y" of a branch) and make the plant even stronger.

God's grace and beauty and flavor never ends. So don't despair.  If you have made a mistake lately, pull up yer big girl britches and ask for forgiveness and carry on!

We have work to do, girls!  That garden ain't gonna weed itself, ya know!

As a matter of fact, I've got a little tomato that needs my attention!

If you're wondering where I've been...

I am Trauma Mama
That's who I am
I cannot deny
This is my fam

We work and we toil
To better behaviors
To treat others as we wish to be treated
Instead of like haters

I would love to be here in blog-land with you
I would love to be here,
And sometimes, not in this zoo

Would you like to know where I have been?
Would you like to know, now and again?

I do not like to deal with this stuff
This stuff is tough
This stuff is rough

I do not like it
Here nor there
I do not like it
Anywhere

I don't like the way it makes me feel
To relive trauma
And watch my kids reel

With emotions spinning out of control from their past
We do not know how long this fit, this rage, this behavior will last

It makes them all yucky
And behaviors pour out
It makes me feel yucky
And I must be devout

In coaching them on how to love
In coaching them about our Father above

I do not like dealing with this
And sometimes,
Just sometimes,
I want to shout and throw up my fist

But alas, that would not help
I must have empathy for things they've seen
The hurt they have felt

I must be strong and courageous and sure
I must teach appropriate ways to love and endure

Love is a choice that one must make
Day to day
It is not a feeling
That can be sent away

I do not like dealing with this
Not here
Not there
And when they heal, this I will not miss

I do not like being Trauma Mama
Yet I yearn to love them
And train them
And teach them without drama

Little one,
Life can be sweet and loving and caring
Young ones,
You can have family that does without swearing

It is possible to live in a house
It is possible to have a father that is not a louse

It is nice to not live out of a box
Or a tent
Or a car
Or in parking lots

You mustn't eat out of trash cans
Or steal
Or lie
Or hurt others with your hands

Yes, words hurt too
Although you can apologize
You cannot take back
The things that you do

Our Heavenly Father gave me the example
And now, through love
I share, with you, a sample

You see, I do not like child endangerment
Abuse or neglect
And I will fight for you
My child
With love and respect

I do love you
Child of Trauma
I do love you
That's why God made ME
Your Mama!

If you're wondering where I've been, all I can say is there have been more important things to deal with than blogging. 

I am still A Woman in God's Word and I am still in Bible study.  But right now, my time is torn between five teens that need my love, guidance, and as always, my time.

Don't delete my blog from your favorites just yet!  I will be back as soon as I can.  For now, I just wanted you to know we are healthy and know that God is good...All the time! 

I can't wait to have Bible study with you again real soon!

Blessings~Ginger

PS-The following is a link to Christine Moers blog page.  She has written a touching post on her family's 6th "Gotcha Day".  I thought it was worthy to share.  Although I do not agree with everything she says, the woman knows about being a Trauma Mama!  She has a great sense of humor and shows unremorseful love to her children of trauma.  Please read her post, if you dare, to help you understand a bit of what a Trauma Mama feels.  Thank you for your support and understanding in the way we must parent our children.

welcome to my brain . net: Six years:

Write it Down

Howdy y'all!

I've been under the weather this week, literally, with sinus/allergies activating my asthma and now with the rain and wind I've developed a low-grade fever.  Nonetheless, the Ultimate Healer is good to me and has given me time and strength to write today, so we're gonna delve into Day 5.

*  Day 5

 

Write it Down

 

"Write down the revelation."

Habakkuk 2:2

 

In my personal book I wrote this note:  A note in my personal Bible from an earlier study:  Habakkuk show us to take our problems to God, then wait on God to answer.

 

Habakkuk means "Embracer".  Let me embrace God's will in my plans for His glory.*

 

The author begins in saying

 

*  Journaling is one of the most overlooked and undervalued spiritual disciplines.  Its' the way we document what God is doing in our lives.  In Habakkuk 2;2, the Lord states, "Write down the revelation."

 

I have circled...Why?*

 

Now, as you can imagine, this teaching doesn't befuddle me in the slightest.  Being a type-A personality with a need to write lists, an author challenging me to 'write things down' doesn't scare me in the least.  But, I did find myself asking WHY?  Y'all know me!  I wanted to know why he was asking this of us and why he found it so important to put in his book.

 

He talks about writing down prayer concerns and taking notes and prayer lists.  He journals scripture and meeting notes and notes on speakers.  Then, every once in a while he would go back through these and circle the things that still needed to be prayed through.

 

He tells of how he can use his notes to trace blessings, breakthroughs and miracles back to their genesis prayers.  He can connect dots between his prayers and God's answers.  He likens it to painting a picture of God's faithfulness.

 

The author writes, and I underline:

 

*  I've been amazed at how many people's prayer lives have been revolutionized by the simple act of journaling.*

 

The author continues in his sharing of a personal story of a young lady who had a life-long dream of becoming a journalist.  Now who better to journal, than a journalist?  It appears as if she would journal most everything...her questions, her dreams, her imaginations.  She had asked for very specific gifts and wanted answers to very specific questions. 

 

I had underlined:

 

*  On one of those pages, she circled Psalm 37:4:  "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart."*

 

I have to be honest with you, beloved, up until this point, this chapter had done little for me.  I'm already a writer.  I'm a list maker.  I'm one who journals.  So, this guidance was a mere mute point to one who already does these things.  What I was trying to glean from the writer is "Why" he thought it was so important to journal. 

 

As I kept reading of this young ladies journey and how God had given her the things she had asked for, it dawned on me that sometimes a journal can be a kind of a testimony of sorts.  A testimony of answered prayers.  A testimony of personal growth.  A testimony of how God changes your heart or others'.  Sometimes it could be a testimony of how we sometimes want things that God does not want for us.  A testimony of acceptance. 

 

The author rounds out his story by a sentence to which is the last I underlined in this day's study:

 

*  it took a decade of working like it depended on her and praying like it depended on God for her dream to come true.* 

 

Oh...now I get it...

 

As we journal our thoughts and our prayers, we are praying though something.  But, wait!  We can't just ask for something and sit by and wait.  We must keep going.  We must keep moving.  We must keep praying. 

 

So, as we ask God to find us a job, we can't sit on our tails.  We must keep searching, waiting for Him to open doors. 

 

As we ask God to send us a mate, we can't sit on our tails and do nothing.  We must be the type of person we desire in a mate.  Our other half is also looking for us and praying for us.  So we must make ourselves available by doing for God and others while we search.

 

As we ask God to find us a church home, we can't never go to church again.  A church is not gonna grow legs, walk to our homes and knock on the door.  We must continue searching and growing and learning while we wait.

 

As we journal these things, the desires of our hearts, we are working through those prayers and waiting and watching til the Master Author pens the outcome.  The perfect outcome.  Meant just for us.

 

My prayer journaled in my book:

 

This chapter simply reminded me to go boldly before the throne.  I am the princess to the King of all Kings.  I don't work at the White House, yet I serve before a Heavenly Kingdom.  May I never forget that Heavenly God cares about our earthly desires.  He places us where we can be used for divine authority.  Let my prayers and supplications and ultimately my life reflect His will as my desires.

 



Part 2, Don't Pray Away

Oh my goodness!  I have missed you!

I want to apologize for the long delay in posting about my Bible study.  Truth be told, I've been out of town and I've been quite busy trying to get caught up as we came home and I am just now getting enough quiet time to sit and type.  So, thank you for your patience and joining me again.  I hope that you have continued, by yourselves, with your own Bible study and Lenten devotionals. 

If you are fasting, it is my prayer you are doing better than I have.  Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have had several days I could not follow my own standards and self-imposed fasting-rules.  But then I remembered, it's not about perfection...it's about passion. 

Praise God He knows my heart and He knows my true intentions!  As soon as I was able to jump back on the band wagon, I did!  Please pray for me and others joining us that they, too, will be able to make mistakes, ask forgiveness and jump right back into battle!

Now, where were we?

I think I had a Holy Ghost moment with Job.  Do y'all remember that?  Boy do I love the historical account of the book of Job!  He is so admired by me.  Mostly because I can relate to him.  I ask "Why?"  all the time. 

Do you hear me?

All the time!

So, to know that people have struggled with asking why for thousands of years, sure brings me comfort and correction.  God puts me right back in place when I remember He is the Master of the Universe and He has every right to do whatever the heck He wants to do!  Amen?

Okay, jumping back into the "Draw the Circle" book...

 

Praying Away versus Praying Through

 

*  There is a big difference between praying away and praying through.  We're often so anxious to get out of difficult, painful, or challenging situations that we fail to grow through them.  We're so fixated on getting out of them that we don't get anything out of them.  We fail to learn the lessons God is trying to teach us or cultivate the character God is trying to grow in us.  We're so focused on God changing our circumstances that we never allow God to change us!*

 

Alright, my beloved, if I could insert a "Hallelujah Chorus" right here, I would!  Because life doesn't have that red, easy button you see on TV commercials for the office supply store, I need somebody to whack me with truth every now and again.

 

Has anybody out there been through this?  Just raise your hand!  Right there at the computer/ phone reading this, just raise your hand.  I know I certainly have.  And these words spoke directly to my heart...

 

*  Sometimes we need to pray "get me out" prayers.  But sometimes we need to pray "get me through" prayers.  And we need the discernment to know when to pray what.  most of our prayers have as their chief objective our own personal comfort rather than God's glory.  There are seasons and situations when we need to simply pray through.* 

 

For some reason, this passage reminds me of a time when I was young and still push-mowing an acre of grass at the first house we bought as a young married couple. 

 

We had a small 900 sq foot fixer-upper home.  It was 2 bedroom, 1 bath with washer/dryer right in the kitchen.  You could literally sit on the toilet and wash your hands or shave your legs in the tub all at the same time.  It was small.  But we loved it.

 

We had close to an acre of land that needed mowing.  For the first few times we borrowed a riding mower from John's daddy.  As soon as we could afford it, we went and bought a push mower from a local store called Rose's.  We were so proud.

 

But let me tell those of you who have never mowed with a push mower...they are temper-mental.  It had a pull-chord to crank.  You had to get the right amount of gas and oil.  You had to pull that chord just right or it would smoke and not catch to crank.  You had to hold the lever on the handle and pull the chord and adjust the settings just so, or it would flood.  It wasn't easy.

 

Then, after all that, you had to walk the entire length of your yard.  Back and forth, back and forth.  Making nice straight lanes of cut grass for the entire acre of land!

 

But I remember a day it was about 102 degrees in humid August.  I had pulled that dang pull-chord til I thought my arm was gonna literally fall off.  I had slipped a few times, scaring myself that I would get my foot caught under the mower and the thing would catch and cut my foot off.  And I was tired.  And I was hot.  And I was even hotter that the sorry thing wouldn't start.  And AFTER I had done all I could do, I said a prayer.

 

I don't remember the exact prayer, but it was something like, "Lord Jesus!  You know how tired I am.  Can you puh-lease help me get this mower started?!  I promise I'll never ask you for another thing as long as I live!"  (Ever said that?)

 

"Oh Lord.  Puh-lease.  I'm gonna pull this chord one.  more.  time.  If it doesn't start, I'm just gonna put it away.  Thankyou.InJesus'Name,Amen."

 

I stood up straight.  Wiped the sweat from my brow and pulled that blasted chord with all my might!  I just knew it was gonna start.  I knew it.

 

...It didn't start...

 

I stood up, mad as fire, and pulled that chord so hard I thought the thing was gonna pull right out of it's holder and break off into my hands.

 

Nothing.

 

I pulled again.

 

And again.

 

And again.

 

Finally, after I got over myself, I went back to the Lord and said something like this..."Lord, I'm sorry for the way I demanded you to start this mower.  I had no right.  Forgive me.  I'm gonna pull this chord one more time.  If you see fit to have it crank, then I thank you.  If you don't want it to crank, then I thank you for the rest 'cause Lord, I'm tired!  I love you no matter what and of course, will accept whatever you decide for me.  In your name, Amen."

 

I wiped a tear.  I wiped some sweat.  I adjusted the settings.  I pulled the lever back and yanked on that chord.

 

The mower billowed a puff of black smoke and started right away. 

 

I learned that day to ask the Lord for things and not to come at Him expecting things.  I learned not to bargain with God.  I also learned to approach His throne with a humble spirit. 

 

I was broken.  I was tired and I had nowhere else to turn.  I had stopped believing I could do whatever I wanted and realized everything, everything, EVERYTHING is God's and He has the power to do with it what He wants, when He wants and how He wants. 

 

The author wrote:

 

*  When a prayer isn't answered the way I want, I have a peace that passes understanding because I know that God heard me.  I've learned to praise God when the answer is no, not just when the answer is yes.  It simply means I'm asking for the wrong thing or for the wrong reason or at the wrong time.  And I'm convinced that the day will come when we thank God for the prayers He did not answer as much as the ones He did...the best answer is very rarely what is most convenient or comfortable for us.* 

 

In my book, I had handwritten:

 

As I study the final part of this lesson, I'm reeling from a very bad week with the kids. 

 

They have been disrespectful, disobedient, discontent and down-right abusive.  I have lived with this for over 13 years now. 

 

 I'm.  So.  Tired. 

 

 I'm.  So.  Weary. 

 

We are in the mountains this weekend on a trip with the kids that was gifted to us, even the gas money.  I didn't want to go.  The only reason I went was because I know my family needs bonding time.  Not fun.  Not vacation.  But bonding. 

 

 If they never heal, if they never love, at the end of this journey I need to be able to say I have done all I can. 

 

 I have grown closer to God and am more like Him because I have loved unconditionally.  I have shown grace, I have given mercy, I have spoke life.   My life has shown love and pointed them to the one most worthy - Jesus the Christ. 

 

My Savior.  My Lord.  My Brother.  My King.  My Friend. 

 

And because I've prayed THROUGH this, has He changed my circumstances? 

 

 Maybe. 

 

But, He has definitely changed me. 

 

In closing, my fellow warriors, I want to tell you that it doesn't matter if you pray "get me out" prayers or "get me through" prayers. 

 

It doesn't matter if you pray about the pain in your back or salvation for your kids.

 

It doesn't matter if you pray for that elderly neighbor that nobody likes or if you pray for God to puh-lease start that lawn mower. 

 

Just pray. 

 

Oh, how He loves us! 

Don't Pray Away

Hello, sweet friend!

What a joy to meet with you again today.  It is a glorious day here in Eastern North Carolina!  I have one at public school, one fishing with Grandpa, two playing quietly with Legos and one at respite so this Mama is ready to dig into some Bible study with you! 

I pray you are all rested up and have your favorite study Bible with you.  We begin by delving into John today.  Go ahead and take a minute to read the entire book of John 9, if you wish.  I'll be right here waiting.  When you're ready, scroll to the next line and I'll be there waiting...

*  Day 4

 

Don't Pray Away

 

"This happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."

John 9:3*

 

The author of the book (Draw the Circle.  The 40 Day Prayer Challenge) starts right in with sharing a story of a tragedy that happened to friends' child.  A young boy fell 13 feet from his bedroom window.  Suffering significant brain damage, loss of vision and severe motor skills damage the child now stutters and walks with pronounced limp yet...he lives!  He is alive and although he is flawed in his earthly tent of skin, he is a living testimony and now sings and praises God along with his parents. 

 

As most of you know, John and I have five adopted children.  When we first adopted Angel, Andrew and Danny we were not told of the severity of their disabilities.  As a matter of fact, we were pretty much lied to and we believe with all our hearts information was withheld so that the children could be adopted as a sibling group. 

 

As we later found out, they had many diagnoses and within a year we realized we, as first time parents never having had biological children of our own, were not fully equipped to have adopted the children we brought home with us.  I won't waste time recounting the pain this has caused our family, the loss of friendships and fellowship, the countless therapists and doctors and specialists we've endured over the past 13 years, but what I will share with you is that each child is a miracle.  They are alive!

 

Unlike the child in the book who has had a traumatic past and now has issues that can be seen with the naked eye, our children have had a traumatic past and has issues that CANNOT be seen with the naked eye.  But, they survived the fall.  They are alive and safe and living!  And praise God they are each little miracles in themselves!

 

The father in the book, and I, myself, both have asked "Why?"  "Why, God, would you allow this to happen to my child/children?"  "Why him/them?"

 

And as the author wrote..."Why, God..." is not a new question at all.

 

I remember a man named Job.  Job, who was blameless in God's eyes.  Job, whom the Lord trusted enough to allow Satan to test him.  Job, who lost everything and even said...The Lord giveth and the Lord has taken away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord! 

 

Satan took everything he owned.  All his 500 teams of oxen, along with the farmhands.  The 7000 sheep and all the shepherds.  3000 camels and the servants.  His sons and daughters and their homes.  Job still blessed God and kept himself holy.  He was left with the four messengers that brought the bad news and a wife, who must have been devastated.

 

But oh, that devil!  He certainly wasn't satisfied with that!  He came at Job again.  The Lord allowed it but commanded that he spared Job's life. 

 

Satan put terrible boils all over his body.  He sat and scraped at them in pain, and his wife told him to curse God and die!  (Not exactly the Proverbs 31 woman, is she?)

 

Job called her foolish and reminded her that they had accepted all that was good from God and now they will accept the bad as well. 

 

Go 'head Job! 

 

Here comes the friends.  The friends that were supposed to come and comfort and console him.  They saw Job and hardly recognized him.  The Bible tells us they didn't say a word for seven days but just sat with him.  (Giving us good wisdom on what to do when someone is so down and out and we want to comfort them.  Sometimes the best thing is just to be there with them.  No words will make it better so just be there.) 

 

Finally, Job cries out and curses the day he was even born.  If he had never been born, he would not have owned all those things and had those children and this never would have happened.  His friend spoke up (this is long verses made short) and told him if you are this upset, you need to go to God and tell him!

 

Job realized he had said foolish things and declared that his grief was so horrible that if it could be weighed, it would outweigh the grains of sands in the see and that is why he spoke impulsively.  (See, we're not the only ones who blurt stupid stuff when we are mad, angry, sad!  Whew.  This gives me hope for my impulsiveness, how 'bout y'all?)

 

Oh, but wait.  Then he said something even more dumb...I hurt so bad I wish God would just kill me.

 

He continues on about God's injustices and how could one man take so much.  I'm sure we've all felt this way at one time or another.  Probably why God put this juicy story in the Bible, huh?

 

And Job goes on and on and on and on.  He goes through all his friends.  All his friends give him whack advice and egg him on.  He continues and relentlessly goes through what we now call the cycle of grief.  Until one day God answers Job.

 

That final "Why, God?"  The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.  And God responds...

 

Who are you to question my wisdom?  Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?  Who decided how big it was gonna be?  You?  Then, what supports its foundations and who laid the cornerstones?  Tell me.

 

Who kept the seas within their boundaries?  Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east?  Have you made daylight spread to the ends of the earth?  Have you explored the springs from which the seas come?  Then show me.

 

How about this, do you know where the gates of death are located?  Have you been there and seen it?  Do you realize the extent of the earth?  Tell me!

 

Where does light come from and where does darkness go?  And who made the rain?  Who gives birth to the  dew?  Who is the mother of the ice?  Who gives birth to the frost?  Do you know?

 

Can you direct the movement of the stars?  Do you know the laws of the universe? (I'd love to ask a few atheist scientists this question myself?)  Can you shout to the clouds and command them to act?

 

Who gives the wild donkey his freedom?  Will the wild ox consent to being tamed?  Have you ever given a horse its strength?   Is it your wisdom that makes the hawk soar?

 

And he continues...Do you still want to argue with the Almighty?

 

I won't continue with what Job said.  He said probably what we would all say... I have nothing more to say.  My friends, the Daddy has spoken.  At this point, coincidentally, would be an appropriate response for us to say nothing more.

 

When we come at God with our lame "Why, God?" in an accusatory tone, He, the Creator has every right to put us in our place.  We, who own nothing (remember yesterday?) certainly have no right to take what the good Lord has given us and throw it back in His face and say "Why?"

 

However, since God knows our hearts, we should always remember that when we have true, genuine questions, we should bring them to him.  We should talk everything over with the one above.  The one who gave us life, wants to hear our thoughts, our concerns and our pleas.  Just don't come at him all bowed up with attitude.  Remember, He brought you in this world and He can take you out! 

 

Whew!  Somebody tell me God is good!  All this and we haven't even gotten to John 9 yet!

 

Friends, I'm so sorry but I'm gonna have to stop here.  Life in the flesh is calling me away at the moment and Satan must be mad at me for sharing this with y'all because I have now received five phone calls, eight texts, two kids asking about lunch and my daughter came home and interrupted all in the time since I started typing.  On top of that, it's time to go pick up a child at respite!

 

But hold on to what you got, I'm gonna finish Day 4.  So, go take an intermission.  Kiss yer sweetie pies, rotate that laundry, feed the cats & dogs and we'll meet back again shortly!

 

Until then I say...Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Amazing Things

Oh, precious ones!  Let me just take a moment to marvel in the goodness of God!  What an amazing and powerful God we serve!

 

I remain in awe of how perfect He is.  How powerful He is and how wonderful He is.  I sometimes, simply can't believe how much He loves me!  And beloved, He loves you too!

 

Thanks for stopping by again today.  I pray you had a wonderful weekend in Jesus.

 

Even though today is Monday, I'll be writing about Friday.  Let's begin...

 

Day 3

 

3-7-13

Friday

 

Amazing Things

 

"Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you."

Joshua 3:5

 

In the first paragraph, I have underlined:

 

*  "The world has yet to see what God will do with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him."*

 

A British revivalist spoke these words to D.L. Moody.  They transformed his life and I pray, dear one, they transform yours as well as mine!

 

If we could just understand in our hearts that our God is not just sitting up there in Heaven watching us.  He is a God of action! 

 

He wants to do things with us! 

 

He wants to do things for us! 

 

He wants to do things through us!

 

He wants to do things in us! 

 

He wants to do things by us because He IS!

 

*  All of us want to do amazing things for God, but that isn't our job; it is God's job.  Our job is simply to consecrate ourselves by yielding our will to His will.  And if we do our job, God will do His job.*

 

Friends, God doesn't want anything from us but that we love Him with all our hearts and minds and souls and that we are obedient.  Love God, love others.  It's that simple.  Everything else will always fall into place.  I remember Beth Moore said, "God doesn't want perfection.  He wants passion!"  That's it!  That's all He wants from us.

 

The writer of the prayer devotional journey reminds us of scripture when the Israelites were by banks of the Jordan river and God gave them the command to consecrate themselves. 

 

Consecrate yourselves. 

 

Be set apart.  Dedicated to God.  Be different for a special purpose.  

 

They obeyed.  And because they obeyed, God delivered on the promise He gave them.  He parted the Jordan River, and the Israelites were able to not only get through it, but they got through on dry land! 

 

I'm reminded of Daniel in the fiery furnace...He didn't just make it out alive, he danced in the flames with the Son of God and came out of those flames with no burns and didn't even smell like smoke!

 

Brothers and sisters, God doesn't want to just deliver you from what's going on in your lives, He wants you to come out unscathed.  Better than you were before.  Stronger than ever.  On dry land, no smell of the stink you went through and in front of your enemy, Satan and his demons, so that you can proclaim God's goodness!  If God brings you to it, He's gonna bring you through it! 

 

*  We'd rather build a boat or a bridge.  We try to do things for God instead of letting God do things for us.  We need to work like it depends on us, but we also need to pray like it depends on God.  Consecration is letting God do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.  And that's how God gets all the glory.*

 

*  We relinquish everything to God - our time, talent, and treasure.  Nothing belongs to us, not even ourselves.* 

 

Did y'all hear that?

 

NOTHING BELONGS TO US, NOT EVEN OURSELVES if you are a child of God!  Nothing!

 

That salary you work for?  Not yours, give it to God.

 

Those kids you birthed or adopted or raised?  Not yours, give them to God.

 

That house you have slaved for?  Not yours, give it to God.

 

That car you love with the heated seats and leather interior?  Not yours, give it to God.

 

Relinquish everything!  Your time, your talent and your treasures.  Relinquish in a Holy way.  Don't just give them up.  Give them up to God. 

 

Meaning, everything God gifts you with, should be used to glorify Him!  If God gives you a huge house, use it to bless others...adopt children, open your home to Bible study groups, host gatherings for prayer.

 

Don't just give up your time.  Give it to God!  Relinquish and prune away the wasting of time (watching the boob tube, working out alone, sports without the family, working too much on weekends and nights, selfish desires such as shopping, time away from church, hobbies) and spend that time glorifying God in a way that will build His kingdom.  God loves for you to spend time with your family, just make sure you are teaching them His truths along the way.  God loves for you to care for the things he's gifted you with, just be sure to use those things to bless others as God has blessed you. 

 

These are the ways we consecrate ourselves and make ourselves different for God. 

 

*  Jesus gave all of Himself at Calvary, and He expects nothing less in return.*

 

The next portion of the book could have been written by me, in a different circumstance.  The writer tells us  part of his journey and how his church did this same prayer devotional at a certain time each morning.  He had to travel one day while he was supposed to be praying.  God laid it upon his heart that it was time to kneel and pray.  He was like,

 

*  But, Lord, I'm in the middle of the Cleveland airport."  The Lord said, "I know exactly where you are.  Gate D8."*

 

This is exactly how the Lord speaks to me!  I couldn't believe it! 

 

So many times I've sat and argued with God on some matter...But Lord, he might think I'm flirting with him...But Lord, it's hot and I don't want to mow his grass.  What if he thinks I want something?...But Lord, if I give her this $50 gift card, she'll know I was listening in on her phone conversation about not having any money for groceries... But Lord, if I give this, we may not have enough money....But Lord, what will I do with the kids during this time?...But Lord, what if they get mad or upset?...

 

Ya know what?  No one has ever gotten mad or upset at me for doing something God called me to do.  I've never gone without one thing because of giving something God told me to give.  I've never been accused of flirting with a man God told me to speak to.  I've never regretted going, doing, giving in God's name.  Never.

 

You may be asking, "But Ginger, How do you know if it's God telling you to do something or you just wanting to do something?"

 

I'm glad you ask!  It's taken me years to learn this...When God tells me to do something He always works out the perfect timing.  He opens doors I didn't know existed, He creates funding I didn't know was there, He makes time in my schedule I thought I couldn't create.   He always works out the money.  It's usually something I don't feel comfortable doing.  And even though I'm the one giving and doing, the blessing is always mine!

 

Whew!  C'mon people of God, it's not about us!  If we can ever get that through our thick skins, we'll have learned something together!  Praise God!

 

To the author of the book, it wasn't about him kneeling in the airport for others to see him praying, it was about the willingness to obey the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

 

*  Consecration means we no longer call the shots.  We give God veto power.  it's no longer a selfish spirituality that asks God to serve our purposes.  It's all about serving His purposes so that His glory is revealed.  Consecration is death to self.* 

 

I could stop right there and know that I have been taken to church by this author. 

 

Death to self?

 

Wow!  That's not at all what the world teaches!

 

Self-appreciation.  Self-reliance.  Independent.  Don't-need-no-man.  Don't-need-no-bratty-kids.  Mine, mine, mine.  I'm gonna get mine!  More, more, most.  Bigger, better, best.  It's a modern day Babylon up in here! 

 

What does God teach?

 

You give, you get.

 

You love, you get loved back.

 

You share, you receive.

 

You bless, you will be blessed.

 

I know which way I want to choose.  How about you beloved?

 

The last thing I had underlined in this chapter was:

 

*  Consecration is a process of surrender that never ends.*

 

I.  Love.  That.

 

It never ends.

 

Jesus, was the perfect example of a man on earth.  He was perfect.  He was different for God's glory.  He was consecrated.

 

He surrendered, willingly, to God's will (think:  "Not my will, but thine").

 

And He never stopped.  Even to the brink of his surrender on the old rugged cross.

 

Sweet friends, precious ones, can we surrender daily? 

 

Can we consecrate ourselves in this manner? 

 

What really do we need to give up to be consecrated?  Only things of this world, things of "self" and things that don't have eternal value. 

 

We can do this!

 

We need to do this because when we are consecrated, it never ends.  Our lives begin in Jesus and it never ends.

 

He said, if you will "Consecrate yourselves" then I will do this for you, tomorrow I (the Lord) will do amazing things among you."

 

I want that.  Don't you?

 

Reminding you of my five prayers during this journey:

 

1.  My relationship with Christ.  But now it's changed.  Instead of me wanting more of Him, I want to GIVE more of myself TO Him.

 

2.  Health for self and family.  I'm happy to report that a side-effect of fasting this week has made me 6 lbs lighter.  God is good...all the time!

 

3.  Children to love us, themselves and each other.  I want them to see what God sees when He looks at them.  Yesterday in church, Angel was prophesied over.  She was told that God sees her and knows her heart.  He has chosen a godly man, the perfect man for her and they will serve in ministry together.  Lord, let it be so!

 

4.  Jobs for children.  God's timing is perfect and I am not gonna fret over this one.

 

5.  Financial freedom from debt.  I want to give more of what God has gifted us.  I know He will work it out because I love Him and I am consecrating myself, my family and our money for Him and I know that I know that I know He will do amazing things!

 



 



 



 



Established by God

Day 2

 

3-6-14

Thursday

 

Established by God

 

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

Proverbs 16:9

 

On Day 2 of my devotional prayer journey, it was a little harder to get out of bed so early.  Frankly, I had the option to sleep in, with no appointments and nowhere to go that day. 

 

For those who don't know, having four children with special needs does not make it easy to be a stay-at-home-mom.  With five teens, we seem to always be running someone to this doctor or that therapist or this job coach is visiting or that one needs something for school or a club.  Maybe it's grocery day or my dad has called or John's mom needs something.  Perhaps a friend needs a meal and I promised to cook for them or a child needs to be picked up from art club.  Maybe it's grocery day or I simply have errands to run.  You get the point.  Sleeping in is a rarity and a pleasure I look forward to.  So, getting up early, was a sacrifice for me on this day.

 

As I got up out of bed, I found the house to be eerily quiet this morning.  Maybe it was the rain hitting the window.  Perhaps it was that my sweet husband was in bed still and it seemed to invitingly warm and cozy.  Sometimes the quietness of a house with 7-9 people running around (I also keep my 3 year old nephew and 7 year old niece while my sister, who is a single mom, works) is a sheer treasure and I just wanted to drink it in a little longer.

 

Then, as I opened my book and my Bible, the vitality of life found me again.  As Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, I began reading and found His Word filling me like the never-ending spring of water He promises to be.  Filling my cup, so that I may fill others.  So that I can have the energy, the fortitude, the love and patience, kindness and understanding to make it through yet another day on this fallen earth.

 

Day 2 began with Brother Mark Batterson writing about how still you are as you are reading this right now.  (Ironic?  I don't think so!  God-ordained words in perfect timing!)  He explains how even though I was sitting still, the planet itself was rotating on its axis at 1,000 miles per hour.  The planet Earth is moving around the sun at speeds of 67,000 miles per hour.  He closes paragraph one by reminding the reader, the next time we feel as if we've had an unproductive day, we should remind ourselves we've traveled more than 1.5 million miles through space that day!

 

Amazing God! 

 

As I pondered those things in my heart and marveled at how personal the words seemed to be to me, I continued reading.  The author asks how many times we've prayed fervently and in terror because we were worried the earth was going to fly off it's axis?  He asks how worried we've been, ever to the point that we'd lose sleep that God would drop the earth and we would go flying off into space?  (I embellish his intended meaning).  I can honestly say, I've never lost sleep over worrying about these things.

 

In my book, on this page I had underlined:

 

*  We don't doubt God's ability to keep the planets in orbit, but we have a difficult time believing He can keep our lives in orbit.  we already trust God for the big things; now we need to trust Him for the little things, like getting us out of debt (author listed more, I only underlined this one as it pertained to one of my five personal prayers).  God is great not just because nothing is too big for Him; God is also great because nothing is too small.  Every sacrifice, no matter how insignificant, makes a difference.  God rejoices over every baby step.  And He can turn those small steps of faith into giant leaps.*

 

Why is it that when we are hit with a situation, say... a doctor tells you that you may have a brain tumor ... we can hit our knees praying immediately (this happened to me) or we hear of a child that is dire need of a medical transplant and we can immediately ask God for healing YET we are late for work due to circumstances beyond our own control and we don't even think to ask God for smooth traffic and no lights? 

 

How can we pray about brain tumors and neglect to ask God to heal the pain of our monthly menstruation cycles? 

 

How can we ask Him to help us be financially free, yet we don't seek  His guidance as we are writing out checks to pay bills? 

 

Yes, it is easy to trust a Big God in Big Things, but not so easy to remember He cares about the Little Things as well. 

 

I thought about this.  I think some of us put God on this pedestal, wayyyyy up high in the Heavens.  And He is.  Don't get me wrong.  He is wonderful, marvelous and oh, so worthy to be praised.  But He should also walk with us and talk with us.  We should have an ease and a friendship with our Abba Father (daddy) that we can feel comfortable and confident in going to Him with the little things in life.  The same ease we have with our bestie that calls and we want to give her every detail of our day... but with added reverence and awe, because He is the Master of the Universe, literally!

 

He cares that you may not have enough money to pay that bill this week.  He cares that you are struggling with weight loss and He wants to hear about it.  He cares that your back is hurting, because girlfriend, it is making you grumpy!  Bring EVERYTHING to Him in prayer and supplication!

 

"God is great because nothing is too big for Him; God is also great because nothing is too small."

 

He cares about every single hair on your head to the point where they are numbered.  He cares about every single step you take because the Holy Spirit is taking those steps with you.  He cares about every pain you have and desires for you to tell Him all about it.  He cares because He loves you!

 

The next thing underlined in my book, was just so precious to me personally.

 

"Every sacrifice, no matter how insignificant, makes a difference.  God rejoices over every baby step.  And He can turn those small steps of faith into giant leaps."

 

I sacrificed to get out of bed early on this morning to spend time with Him.  He cares.

 

I sacrifice to eat salad for lunch while my kids are eating foods I really love and desire to eat.  He cares.

 

I sacrifice my life to be a stay-at-home-mom and a home-educator to children who don't love me back, don't care about education and could care less about bonding.  He cares.

 

I sacrifice my finances to help others when they come to me in need.  He cares.

 

Every.  Little.  Sacrifice.  He cares!

 

Not only does he care, but He rejoices and will take those small sacrifices and turn them into giant successes.  Success in His eyes.  The world may not agree.

 

The world may think it's stupid to get up at 5:00am to study a Bible and spend time in prayer.  But God rejoices!

 

The world may think it's idiotic to quit your job and adopt five kids, four with special needs and home-educate them.  But God loves it and blesses it!

 

The world may say, why eat healthy?  We're all gonna die anyways?  But the Lord reminds us we will never die because death is defeated in Christ Jesus and because He lives, we live and there is life beyond this world!  It's a matter of taking care of the temple in which Christ resides, dying to self daily and caring for the earthly tent He has placed you in.  He cares!

 

Are you still with me, sweet friends?  This may be personal to me and no one else may relate to a word I'm saying but I so pray that you are!  God loves YOU and cares about every single detail in your life!

 

The next words underlined in my book are:

 

*  God is in the business of strategically positioning us in the right place at the right time, but it's up to us to see and seize those opportunities that are all around us all the time.*

 

The author tells a story about why he writes books.  He writes to be a blessing to others and prays that each book is a prayer answered...to someone, in some situation. 

 

The story is about a letter he received from a reader of a different book that was touched and moved to act on what he had read.  Because of reading the first chapter, a life was saved and possibly two.  (Get the book!  Go ahead.  Stop procrastinating and get the book.  You know you wanna find out what the story was...)

 

I have to say, I felt the exact same way after reading the introduction to this book!  I couldn't wait to dive in!  Then, after reading Day 1, I was so excited about all the specific prayers answered, I couldn't wait til Day 2! 

 

Precious friends, we gotta be excited about what God is doing!  He is so wonderful!  He loves us so much!  He is so involved with everything in our lives we should be on the edge of our seats, can't wait to see what's gonna happen next!

 

*  God wants us to get where God wants us to go more than we want to get where God wants us to go.*

 

Do ya understand that?  Do ya really get that?

 

When we correct our children, we don't do it because it's fun.  We do it because we know it will make them a better person as an adult (where we want them to go).  I tell my teens all the time, I'm not raising children, I'm raising adults. 

 

When we eat healthy, we don't always do it because it's the most flavorful thing at the buffet (although sometimes it truly is!).  We do it because we know it is the best choice for fuel for our bodies (where we want to go).

 

We do these things because we can look down the line and see that these choices now, will help us later (where we want to go).  They will make us a better person, a healthier person, a more productive person (where we want to go).

 

Same with God.  He is so excited about where we are going because He sees everything (where He wants us to go).  Every little person you smile at, every little birdie you put back in the nest, every time you let someone in the line in traffic instead of boxing them out, every healthy choice you make to keep His temple healthy, every time you bring it to the attention of the cashier that she gave you too much change, everything (where He wants us to go)!  

 

He not only sees where we are going, but He knows what's in the future and how our choices now are preparing us for what's next!   He knows how your decision will effect other people's lives and He rejoices when we make good decisions (where He wants us to go)!

 

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.  Proverbs 16:9

 

*The Hebrew word kun, translated in Proverbs 16:9 as "establishes" can also be translated as "determines," "prepares," "provides," "sets in place," "directs," "firmly decides," "makes secure."  It's a meticulous word that involves careful planning right down to the smallest detail.*

 

I can't tell you enough details to make you understand what my day planner looks like.  It's crazy!  You just have to see it for yourself to believe it.  I have nine people's schedule on this day planner.  I have lists in this planner for the day, for the week, what to do on what days. 

 

When I write my to-do lists for the day, I even number them in order so that I never have to back-track and waste time.  I put times and side notes so as to attempt to not forget one single thing and I still have days nothing goes right, I accomplish nothing or my plans get derailed.

 

We can make all the plans we want, but we have got to recognize when God is placing a person in our lives that needs a witness.  When God puts a grumpy person in front of us that needs a kind and loving heart to speak to them.  When God puts a wayward child in our path that needs guidance and not anger.  When God puts a needy friend, sibling or parent in our life that needs you to be the face of Jesus for them that day.

 

Yes, we can plan our day to a tee (where we want to go), but we must allow the Lord to establish our steps (where He wants us to go).

 

My prayers for today, as written in my book:

 

1.  My relationship with Christ to grow

 

2.  Health for self and family

 

3.  Children to love us, themselves and I added, each other

 

4.  Jobs for children

 

5.  Financial freedom from debt

 

I so hope you are still with me, dear brothers and sisters!  What a precious journey God is taking me on. 

 

I pray that you are taking time to prepare your heart for the Easter season.  If I had the right to give you homework it would be to challenge you to study about Paschal and the Jewish Holy Day of Passover.  What it means.  How it began.  What are they celebrating?  What did they eat during this time?  How have we Americanized it from celebrating a victory over death to being about a bunny that leaves eggs? 

 

We live in a fallen world, beloved.  Won't you be the Light for someone today?  Plan your day (where you want to go), but be sure to allow God to establish your steps(where He wants you to go).